The Web’s Leading Military Blog Since 2004
This is gonna cover some not-so-serious stuff and some really-serious stuff. Bear with me, please.
First off, yesterday was a crappy day because I thought my son, who I call Little Monkey, had lied to me and I was gonna administer a beatdown of epic proportions. I cannot abide liars. I just can’t. It is something that is so integral to my being, honesty.
See, last week, he changed after-school care sites. They used to have it at his school, but the program could not afford to keep up with the costs, so they now send someone to the school and then bus the kids to the central site located downtown. It’s actually a pretty sweet setup. Video games, table games, gym, study rooms, all that jazz. But they also have 2 vending machines. And like a moth to the flame, LM is enamoured with the fizzy, surgary, caffeine-laden pops in the machine. I believe that would be a bad, bad thing to allow LM to consume, don’t you?
Well last Monday was his first day at this new site. And when I picked him up, there was lots of whining about how hungry and thirsty he was. Yeah, try that with a lenient mom cuz it don’t fly here. “Oh, look, I see a water fountain. Yeah, if you’re thirsty, drink that and when I pick you up, 9 times out of 10, we go straight home and eat immediately, so I don’t think you’re gonna die or anything.”
Later that night or early the next morning, LM asked if he could put 50 cents in his pocket to shop in the school store where they have pencils and erasers and sundry school supplies. “Sure.”
We all know where this is going, right? I did not at the time, but I knew immediately what happened when I saw him with an orange soda at the Clubhouse.
Not only did he lie, he was sneaky. Oh yeah, I came a little uncorked. So he was grounded for the week, no electronics, etc. By Thursday, he was begging me to watch netflix or get on the computer. “That would be a big ol’ negatory, lil man.”
So when I got him this Monday, he had just come from his father’s house. I hit the Clubhouse and he grabs his gear, runs up to me, sticks his hand in his coat pocket and says, “Mom! Wait! I lost the dollar I had in here, let me go back and look for it.” It’s gone.
He and I had a talk about how taking money to the Clubhouse is not such a good idea because he loses stuff out of his pockets and sometimes, people take things that don’t belong to them. I had a lot of sympathy and so I replaced his dollar with one of my own and when we hit the grocery store, I bought him some snacks to put in his backpack for after school if he gets hungry.
On the way home from work last night, I got an email from his teacher, and in there she casually mentions how he found “$10 in his pocket.” Well, I flipped out. I had sent him to his dad’s with a $10 and that little brat lied to me and said he lost ONE dollar but it was actually TEN!!
I picked him up and let me tell you, there was a lot of crying and freaking out cuz I was of the mind that since grounding him for a week didn’t work, a whooping on top of a grounding should do the trick. LM was full on panicky and babbling about what happened.
As I’m all torqued up and yelling at him, I start to get a tiny glimpse of what might have happened. I send his dad a text asking about the $10. We are on the way to get my daughter from play practice and LM is still crying, begging not to be whipped, and spilling stuff out of his mouth that might fit together logically as to what happened. And then he says this, “MOM!! I thought I had lost the dollar, but I didn’t. I put it in a different pocket and I forgot and here it is!” He hands me a $1 bill.
Whooping is on hold until I can hear from dad and piece it all together in my mind from the little bits of information LM verbally vomited at me.
This is what I think happened.
LM had a $1 in his jacket pocket left over from buying a hat with his dad last weekend. (After talking to dad, I found out that they also found a random $10 bill at HIS house and this will play into some of the confusion)
LM reaches into his coat pocket at school, finds the $1, thinks it is the random $10 he found at dad’s and exclaims something about it out loud, which is what the teacher is talking about. (I don’t think she actually SAW the money)
LM gets to the Clubhouse, moves the one dollar bill from one open pocket to a closed upper one, and in his little boy way, forgets about the money.
He thinks he loses it.
He remembers and finds it again when he is under the gun for lying.
After I calmed down last night, I apologized to him for accusing him of lying, explained that when you lie, even once, others think you will lie again and that you are not trustworthy, and so I was wrong and he needs to be meticulously honest so I can trust him again. I hugged him, said sorry again, and we moved on.
I wish it were that easy for others.
On the Youserved Podcast, they have had 2 parents of military men who have had trials that were decidedly unfair. There is evidence that could mitigate the circumstances and/or even prove innocence of the charges, but the military tribunals did not allow the evidence and won’t change the findings. LT Behenna (see this article for some of the evidence on Behenna’s trial) and SFC Kelly Stewart were given raw deals. Their parents talk about the stuff that was either not allowed at trial or won’t be allowed as mistrial evidence and you can download their compelling stories either here at the Youserved Blogtalkradio page (Episodes 121 and 123) or on iTunes for free. Listening to those parents was heartbreaking because all they want is a fair shot at justice. They will continue their fights on their sons’ behalf and if you’d like to join in the fight, you can find the information on the cases at DefendMichael.com and SaveThisSoldier.com.
Anyway, part of the reason I am putting this up is because Mrs. Behenna has asked that those of us who believe in her son’s innocence, we write him supportive letters. To weed out the haters and whackjobs, we are not posting his mailing address publicly, but you can email me at wendy at youserved period com to get it.
Last night, when my ex called to explain about the money and all, his first words were, “I hope I caught you in time, I hope you didn’t punish Little Monkey yet!” And in this house, over a tiny thing, we were fortunate that I was temperate enough to pause until all the evidence was in before administering any punishments. LT Behenna and SFC Stewart are both sitting in prison, alone, with little outside contact because the military courts marshal were intemperate. If nothing else, please just keep those families in your prayers that justice will be served.